My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just threw up on my dentist
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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