We're like a lot better than the average bears
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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