she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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