everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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