I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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