i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
