is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
