and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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