so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
