ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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