I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
