i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
