You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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