Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize