I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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