My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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