He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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