he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
