You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
