My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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