she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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