they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
