i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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