whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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