you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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