You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
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On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize