well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
