i already hear my dad disowning me
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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