how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
