Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize