i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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