im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
