This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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