I'm sorry my penis didn't work
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize