If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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