My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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