I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
