ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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