im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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