Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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