okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
