i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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