I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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