We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
