butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im part way to drunk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
