i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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