Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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