You're my little dorito
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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