Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Your cock deserves a montage
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
