Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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