this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
