spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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