she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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