It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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