the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
