yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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