nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
