Are we in a gay sports bar?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
