You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
