My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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