so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
